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Sådan håndterer du, når andre ikke støtter dig! Del 2

03.06.2014 by ChristinaAROS // Leave a Comment

Jeg har som sagt været så heldig, at Charlotte Lotus Sommer har sagt ja til at dele sine gode råd om, hvordan du håndterer det, når andre ikke støtter dig eller begynder at kritisere dig.

Charlotte er en ildsjæl, der brænder for at gøre en forskel, og hun elsker at se andre vokse og give den fuld gas.

Indlæg af Charlotte: 

Mange mennesker støder på den udfordring, at andre kritiserer dem for det de laver, og at de ikke får den støtte, som de havde håbet på.

Måske har du selv prøvet det?

At nogen bestemt ikke kunne forstå din idé?

At nogen synes, at du er for meget? Eller for lidt?

Eller bare burde gøre tingene på en anden måde?

Det er helt normalt at støde på disse mennesker, der mener, at de gør dig en tjeneste ved at fortælle dig i bedste Blachman stil, at du burde finde dig en anden levevej!

De vil dig det bedste!

Selvom det er utrolig let at forfalde til at blive monster irriteret, og bare tænke ”hold op hvor er du en nar, når du siger sådan”, så er min overbevisning at den slags ”holden dig tilbage mennesker” vil dig det bedste (de fleste i hvert fald).

I mange af mine kunders tilfælde er det faktisk deres nærmeste (forældre, søskende og lign.), der holder dem tilbage ved at sige ting som ”burde du ikke også finde dig et job”, ”er du nu sikker på, at det er en god idé?” osv.

Og selvom det kan være svært lige i situationen at tænke, at de siger det, fordi de vil dig det bedste, så er jeg faktisk overbevist om, at det er det, der er tilfældet.

Husk at dine forældre er opdraget på en anden måde, og det jo ganske naturligt vil påvirke deres livssyn.

Få en uddannelse så du har noget at falde tilbage på, har jeg altid fået af vide.

Men helt ærligt?

Hvem siger overhovedet, at jeg får behov for at falde tilbage?

Hvorfor ikke hellere tage den uddannelse, hvis den faktisk viser sig på et tidspunkt at være gavnlig i den sammenhæng, jeg lever i.

Ingen tvivl om, at det er genialt at have en uddannelse, men at tage den bare for at tage den – nej tak!

Det er slet ikke dig, det handler om

En ting, der kan hjælpe dig, når andre kritisere dig, er, at huske på, at det slet ikke er dig det handler om.

Den person, der vælger at kritisere dig, projekterer et eller andet over på dig, som i virkeligheden foregår inden i dem.

Hvis de f.eks. synes, at du er ”for meget”, så handler det nok om, at de selv er for lidt, eller selv er for meget eller lign. Under alle omstændigheder er det i hvert fald virkelig sjældent, at det  virkeligheden handler om dig.

Det er dejligt befriende at tænke sådan.

Og så tænker jeg også altid, at det da er rart, at de reagerer.

Så betyder det, at jeg på en eller anden måde, har ramt et eller andet inden i dem og måske har fået dem til at reflektere.

Lad dig ikke stoppe af andre. Behandl andre med respekt. Nyd livet som selvstændig og giv gas!

Skal jeg være helt ærlig, så er det faktisk temmelig sjældent, at jeg oplever at nogen kritiserer mig eller forsøger at holde mig tilbage.

Jeg forsøger også selv på bedste vis at rose andre, og kun give konstruktiv feedback.

Javist det kræver, at jeg nogle gange knytter sylten på mit ego, men sådan må det jo være 🙂

Så hvad gør du?

Smil for pokker. Vær glad. Giv den gas.

Skru 30 % mere op for din personlighed (det tiltrækker også flere kunder).

Luk ørerne når andre kritiserer dig (men vær selvfølgelig åben for konstruktiv feedback).

Kun når du virkelig træder ind i dit lys kan du bidrage, som det er meningen, at du skal i verden!

Jeg glæder mig for vildt til at se dig shine og give den fuld skrald og få masser af succes!

Vil du gerne have et positivt spark bag i, så anbefaler jeg dig virkelig at tage et kig på onlineforløbet ”Boost din Business på 21 dage” og onlineuniverset ”Business Boosters Lounge – kun for kvinder”.

Begge dele vil give dig et positivt skub bag i, så du kan give den fuld skrald!

Glade iværksætterhilsner

Charlotte Lotus Sommer

Businessbooster.dk

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Kategorier // autenticitet, Authenticity, glæde, personlig gennemslagskraft, Shadows Tags // businessbooster, charlotte Lotus Sommer, glæde, motivation, personlig succes

The Purpose of Emotions – how our feelings help us survive and thrive

09.25.2013 by ChristinaAROS // Leave a Comment

Emotions can play an important role in how we think and behave.
First, it is important to understand the three critical components of an emotion.

Our emotions are composed of a subjective component (how we experience the emotion), a physiological component (how our bodies react to the emotion), and an expressive component (how we behave in response to the emotion). These different elements can play a role in the function and purpose of our emotional responses.

Our emotions can be short-lived, such as a flash of annoyance at a co-worker, or long-lasting, such as enduring sadness over the loss of a relationship. But why exactly do we experience emotions? What role do they serve?

 

Emotions can motivate us to take action.
When faced with a nerve-wracking exam, you might feel a lot of anxiety about whether you will perform well and how the test will impact your final grade. Because of these emotional responses, you might be more likely to study.    Since you experienced a particular emotion, you had the MOTIVATION to take action and do something positive to improve your chances of getting a good grade.
We also tend to take certain actions in order to experience positive emotions and minimize the probability of feeling negative emotions. For example, you might seek out social activities or hobbies that provide you with a sense of happiness, contentment, and excitement. On the other hand, you would probably avoid situations that might potentially lead to boredom, sadness, or anxiety.

 

                                                                                                                                
Emotions help us survive, thrive, and avoid danger.
Naturalist Charles Darwin believed that emotions are adaptations that allow both humans and animals to survive and reproduce. When we are angry, we are likely to confront the source of our irritation. When we experience fear, we are more likely to flee the situation or threat. When we feel love, we might seek out a mate and reproduce. Emotions serve an adaptive role in our lives by motivating us to act quickly and take actions that will maximize our chances for success.

 
Emotions can help us make decisions.
Our emotions have a major influence on the decisions we make, from what we decide to have for breakfast to which candidates we choose to vote for in political elections. Researchers have also found that people with certain types of brain damage that impairs their ability to experience emotions also have an decreased ability to make good decisions. Even in situations where we believe our decisions are guided purely by logic and rationality, emotions play a key role.

Emotional Intelligence, or our ability to understand and manage emotions, has been shown to play an important role in decision-making.

 
Emotions allow other people to understand us.
When we interact with other people, it is important to give cues to help them understand how we are feeling.

These cues might involve emotional expression through body language, such as various facial expressions connected with the particular emotions we are experiencing. In other cases, it might involve directly stating how we are feeling. When we tell friends or family members that we are feeling happy, sad, excited, or frightened, we are giving them important information that they can then use to take action.

 
Emotions allow us to understand others.
Just as our own emotions provide valuable information to others, the emotional expressions of those around us gives us a wealth of social information. Social communication is an important part of our daily lives and relationships, and being able to interpret and react to the emotions of others is essential.

It allows us to respond appropriately and build deeper, more meaningful relationships with our friends, family, and loved ones.

It also allows us to communicate effectively in a variety of social situations, from dealing with an irate customer to managing a hot-headed employee.
Charles Darwin was one of the earliest researchers to scientifically study emotions.

He suggested that emotional displays could also play an important role in safety and survival. If you encountered a hissing or spitting animal, it would clearly indicate that the creature was angry and defensive, leading to you back off and avoid possible danger. In much the same way, understanding the emotional displays of others gives us clear information about how we might need to respond in a particular situation.

 
Final Thoughts
As you have learned, our emotions serve a wide variety of purposes. Emotions can be fleeting, persistent, powerful, complex, and even life-changing. They can motivate us to act in particular ways and give us the tools and resources we need to interact meaningfully in our social Worlds.
The question is, are you in touch with all your emotions and do you dare to show them?

Your greatness is my Passion
Christina Aros

Source:About.com

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Kategorier // Authenticity, emotions, motivation, Personal Success Tags // emotional intelligence, emotions, motivation

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