The last couple of weeks, I have had some funny experiences about honesty. Okay to be honest, some of them weren’t really that funny.
In a nutshell, the message, from the last couple of weeks, have been: You are way too honest Christina! You are always so honest Christina! We always know how you feel, because you dont hide that! You don’t really have to be THAT honest!
I have thought about this for a while now and as a shadow coach, I ask myself what the opposite quality is and to me it is lying. So I thought, maybe I am keeping the quality of lying in the dark and therefore I am very honest. But again, thinking about it, I have no problem of lying (and YES, I do use it, when and IF it is beneficial for others and myself) so I believe I have embraced and re integrated the quality of lying. And again that is just my opinion and from my point of view.
So what is it that I have to learn about this one because I am actually okay with both lying and honesty?
Or am I just living in denial about having integrated them fully in my life?
I have asked myself those questions over and over again, because in my honesty I sometimes hurt other people. I don’t believe any of us hurt other people intentionally and that, we actually do whatever we can NOT to hurt them and yet it still happens.
Because we see the world from our own perspective most of the times and therefore we don’t always listen to what’s being said. By that, I mean: I hear with my ears, my beliefs, my rules, my experiences e.g. and you listen with your ears and so on and so forth.
What to do then?
Sometimes we (YES, that include myself as well) get so hurt and defensive that we forget to listen to what is really being said and we forget to ask, what it means to the person that just said it.
So when you find yourself emotionally attached to some communication from others, then pause for a while and ask why they just said it, what they meant and what it means to them, instead of assuming you know what’s going on.
I once read this: ASSUME = ASS U ME, when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me 🙂 sweet one and very true, in my opinion.
So what was it, I had to learn about these few weeks of honesty reflecting back at me?
* think before you speak, not everyone want the truth?
* lie more?
* it is peoples own responsibility. how they react?
* don’t have to be responsible for the receiver, just the delivery?
* don’t assume, you know why people are reacting the way they do?
* ask why people react the way they do?
I know the answer for me is, that I want to continue being honest, I need to ask more questions myself and I certainly need to be me and NOT the way others might think would be better for them because I am proud of the way I am and I learn to be a better me everyday, sometimes that is done easily and sometimes it’s freaking hard and difficult.
“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt