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Is it possible to fall in love with Everyone? Including danish version

05.09.2014 by ChristinaAROS // Leave a Comment

Is it possible to fall in love with everyone? DANISH VERSION HERE

Does it really matter whom you are with, whom you choose to be in a relationship with ?

Isn’t it just about the effort you do?

Can you build up love as easily as you can break it?

Oh my word, I’ve philosophized about these questions so many times after my hubby through 21 years divorced me.

The man I met when I was 16 , the man I had children with and the only man I’ve known romantically as an adult.

Is it really true, that you grow apart or has it something to do with the effort ?

I have been divorced for over 6 years and have had a couple of relationships and each time it strikes me how essential the amount of effort has on the quality of the relationship.

It’s a bit like the Casino

If you are willing to risk a lot, you might win a lot, yea sure you can lose!
If you risk a little, you’ll win a little, and yeah you can lose as well, but then you don’t feel you’ve lost that much, do you?

BUT WHAT IF YOU WON?

Would you then regret you didn’t went for the big one, would you regret, that you didn’t won the big prize!

I believe that in one way or another this also applies to relationships and in general interaction between people
The more we dare to Invest the greater the benefit/prize we get when we win

And yes , we also risk losing

But isn’t it worth risking anything to get the big prize

LOVE

Michael Jordan said: I miss all the shots I don’t take !

Is exactly the same with relationships

if you don’t dare to risk it all and give it all, you lose !

Well I’m afraid of getting hurt !

NO shit Sherlock !

aren’t we all!

Honestly, none of us want to be hurt and especially not when your heart is open and vulnerable.

But if you don’t make an effort, if you don’t even try, you’ve already lost.

You never lose by loving, you always lose by holding back love!

Love expands the more it is nurtured , cared for and given freely !

Love wither and die in both heart and soul when held back and it’s not getting the attention and care!

I’ve often wondered about people who are unfaithful and always said that if they behaved the same way towards their partner , they would probably have a different life and relationship.

What if you sent small juicy hot and sexy messages to your partner ?

What if you met with you ​​partner at a secret place, like the Woods, a hotel or similar ?

What if you secretly called each other?

What if you surprised each other much more?

What if you spoiled your partner in the same way as you would with a lover or mistress ?

The grass is always greener the places it’s watered and fertilized !

And then back to my first question

Is it possible to fall in love with anyone?!

Yes, of course there has to be attraction, passion, chemistry and all that stuff but how do you create that?

Through action !

Yes we have more physical attraction to some than to others but if we don’t do something about it, it is just:

High energy between two people because we’re vibrating on the same channel !

But a relationship is only created by initiative and actions and must be maintained or else, both love and relationship will vanish.

I do believe you can build love just as fast as you can lose it, if you are willing , open and dare to invest in love !

But first and the most important thing is to love yourself.

The more you love yourself the more you are open to receive love
When you trust and believe that you are worthy of love then you will also be able to love more fully and receive love, letting it into your heart and your life

And yes we all have the fear, but if we want love in our lives, we must act in spite of fear and past experiences

It’s spring so let your self love blossom !

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Kategorier // autenticitet, Authenticity, glæde, happiness, in love, kærlighed, Love Tags // forelskelse, in love, kærlighed, love, relationship

What defines you?

01.23.2014 by ChristinaAROS // Leave a Comment

Yesterday I heard the most incredible woman with a story, you wouldn’t wish for anyone in the world to have.

I had the privilege to hear the award winning standup comedian and motivational speaker, Kathy Buckley.

She is born deaf and put in a school for retarded, and it wasn’t until the age of 8 they figured out she was deaf. She experienced sexual abuse from her father and a friend, she has been diagnosed with cancer twice and at the age of 20 all her bones in her body was broken because a truck ran her over. The doctors told her that she would never be able to walk again.

But she did! Guess she didn’t heard them!

She learned herself to speak by the help of the vibrations through a balloon, she learned to lip read people, she learned herself to walk again by daily swimming, she forgave her dad, and in her first 30th got proper hearing aid and now experienced all the things most of us take for granted like singing birds, the traffic, farts (lol).

The girl diagnosed and labelled retarded is now an award winning comedian and international motivational speaker helping others to transform their lives and she is doing it by being herself, an authentic shining star willing to change her thoughts so they support her and propel her forward.

So don’t let your past define you.

Dont let your self sabotaging thoughts define you and destroy your present and future.

Don’t complain about your life, your weight or all the other stuff people usually complain about.

Be grateful for everything in your life, allow yourself to shine and value yourself each and every day.

If you find it difficult try this exercise Kathy guided us through

Close your eyes and imagine you just woke up in the morning, not able to move your body not even your head, not able to speak or tell people you hurt or how you feel.

You still don’t think you have something to be grateful for?

keep this in mind:

“No one value you more than you value yourself”

love & light

Christina

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Kategorier // Authenticity, emotions, Gratitude, happiness, Love, motivation Tags // comedian, deaf, gratitude, Kathy Buckley, motivational speaker, value

5 ways to live a more authentic life

01.02.2014 by ChristinaAROS // 2 Comments

Many years ago I was working at a huge organisation, and to be honest I didn’t like it much. The job never did feel right to me or maybe it was the place.

That’s often the feeling we get when we are being inauthentic — or acting in ways that aren’t congruent with our values, preferences, abilities. That something isn’t right. We feel out-of-sync and out-of-sorts, even if things on the surface appear to be ideal.

In those early days of long hours, loaded with work and a lot of driving, I felt frustrated, stressed, and inadequate. At the age of 21 years I was depressed!

WHAT A FAILURE I was.

But you know what caused it?

It wasn’t the job or the driving!

It was because I never really knew who I was deep inside nor did I know what I really wanted in life.

But I had a vage idea – and I certainly didn’t wanted to live my life the way I did at that moment.

I kind of knew I wanted to inspire others, not “force” people to buy things they really didn’t needed. The job just wasn’t inconsistent with me or my values I felt inauthentic.

I felt wrong and I must certainly did not feel in touch with myself.

So I started my journey to become magnificent and authentic.

What does it mean to be authentic?

My definition is to feel real and whole just by being you without pretending to be someone else.

“Authenticity,” has been defined by psychologists Brian Goldman and Michael Kernis, as “the unimpeded operation of one’s true or core self in one’s daily enterprise.”

At its root, authenticity requires self-knowledge and self-awareness.

(which I did not have – I thought I did, but I really didn’t!)

Authentic people accept their strengths and weaknesses. They are accountable. They are connected to their values and desires and act deliberately in ways that are consistent with those qualities.

I believe that, authenticity is about being genuine and real. Not trying to be someone else.

One of my favorite quotes are:

Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Already Taken.

Authenticity allows us to connect deeply with others because it requires us to be transparent and vulnerable. When you hae the ability to be vulnerable and dare to show others who you really are, it liberates you from the pressures of always trying to be something else, always trying to be perfect, and always seeking others approval.

I have been working with reintegrating my own authentic self in 15 years and I guess this is as good as it gets. 🙂 JOKING

I know there’s always room for improvement but I walk the talk and I live in acceptance of all my sides. By all Means new sides occure once in a while!

One of the side affects by living in alignment with your values and who you are is that I sometimes scare other people by being honest, allowing myself to be vulnerable and having self-awareness

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of authenticity

Authenticity starts when you set the intention to be genuine. Then, there must be an awareness of what that looks and feels like, and a willingness to act in accordance with your genuine nature even when it feels vulnerable.

When you live with this kind of self-awareness, decisions are easier because you are free to choose things that move you closer to your values. You are able to stand in the presence of your imperfections, because you can accept your humanity. You can also embrace your talents and abilities.

Authenticity may also require you to make unpopular decisions or to acknowledge aspects of yourself that you’d rather hide away, but in the end it allows you to live a more open, honest and engaged life.

If, instead, you find yourself feeling fragmented, unhappy, bored, stressed, stuck, uninspired, or frustrated it could be a sign that you aren’t acting authentically. That’s something you can change right now.

Creating an authentic life

Here are five ways to get started:

1. Redefine your values. It’s hard to behave in an authentic way if you do not know what you value and desire. Often, we hold tight to the same values we grew up with, when we need to reevaluate what feels right to us now and align our actions around those things. Get clear on what you care about and authenticity will take hold.

2. Foster an open mind. Authenticity flourishes when we experience the world wholly, from every perspective. Rigid, good/bad thinking keeps us trapped in judgment and limitation, which causes us to shut down our vulnerable, authentic self. Challenge yourself to look at all sides of the situation. Be open.

3. Fill in the blank: If you really knew me you’d know this: ___________. This is a prompt Robbins gives to seminar participants. Not only does it prompt introspection and allow people to reveal essential aspects of themselves, it also builds trust, credibility and confidence with the person you are sharing it with. Authenticity does sometimes feel scary and vulnerable, but it also builds intimacy.

4. Notice when you are being inauthentic. Robbins suggests that you pay attention to those times when you are insincere in your speech, or when you are acting in a way that doesn’t align with your core values. Then explore the fears and beliefs that may create those barriers to your authenticity.

5. Trust your intuition. Often, we feel out of sync when we are acting inauthentic. Things just don’t feel right. Pay attention to those hunches, physical sensations and impressions. They can be your instincts telling you that you are not being genuine. When you are on track and authentic, you’ll feel that too.

I felt at ease and in flow when I left public relations behind a year later to write full-time. Finally, I was truly myself. Authentic. And, while the writing business has blossomed, I’m still learning how to live authentically even 20 years later. That journey is ever-shifting as I learn more about myself.

“Who we are evolves and changes,” Robbins says. “This is a dynamic process and one we can keep moving into at deeper levels. Feel that, pay attention to that. This is less about a destination than a journey of going deeper to keep discovering and unfolding new pieces of ourselves as we go.”

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Love and light

Christina

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Kategorier // Authenticity, emotions, happiness, Personal Success

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