HverdagsGLÆDE

Glæde, Kærlighed & Mindful Living

Explode your comfort zone! A true story!

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A month ago, I had to do a talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and living your life much more on you terms instead of other peoples terms. A talk that guided the audiens to live a more authentic life and was helping them to get rid of the “People Pleaser”.

Personally, I really like changes and therefor I very easily adjust and tune in, so it propels me forward in my life, but it hasn’t always been like that.

One of the biggest values in my life, have always been security and safety

But I have, hence the crutial moments and changes there have been in my life, actually  learned to love changes, and right now, changes are of great value to my life.

I no longer chose the safe and secure way, because I’ve experienced, I grow much more with the changes.

As a result, my comfort zone is growing all the time, which in fact means, that I get an even larger area, where I feel safe.

If you want to have 3 steps to step out of your comfort zone  then have a look at this old newsletter

AND now back to that talk, this blog started with.

A week before the talk, I came up with the most amazing idea, to step out of my own comfortzone. I have been a speaker for almost 6 years now, and have been speaking in front of 500 people, been speaking in Dubai, in New York so I’m pretty comfortable with being on stage, and the more people there are, the more excited I get and I always get HIGH of speaking 🙂

So I had to come up with something completely different.

When I was younger, I had an eating disorder for 10 years and I hated my body for 20 years, so I though it would be a fabulous idea to begin my talk in a bikini, whilst I was talking about how we’re judging ourselves and others.

Well, at that point I thought it was a brilliant idea, then I started thinking (don’t ever do that!):

What wouldn’t they think about me?

What if they thought I was cheap and slutty?

What if they thought I was too much ?

and my mind kept going and going, until I decided: that no matter what my mind told me, I would still do it, and then I started telling friends about it!

AND I DID IT, and you know what: It WAS a fabulous idea, and this was one of my best talks ever. People came to me afterwards and told me, what an impact I had on them, that I WALKED MY TALKED and I was a true inspiration. And so what, if someone thinks I am too much, what if they think I am cheap or slutty..

It doesn’t really matter, because I am me, and I for sure know who I am, no matter what they think 🙂

And the funny bit about this is, I promised to post a picture on Facebook and so I did, and I tell you, I have NEVER ever had so many comments and likes as I did with that picture.

Love and light

Christina

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Is honest communication really that bad or do you make and Ass out of U and Me?

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The last couple of weeks, I have had some funny experiences about honesty. Okay to be honest, some of them weren’t really that funny.

In a nutshell, the message, from the last couple of weeks, have been: You are way too honest Christina! You are always so honest Christina! We always know how you feel, because you dont hide that! You don’t really have to be THAT honest!

I have thought about this for a while now and as a shadow coach, I ask myself what the opposite quality is and to me it is lying. So I thought, maybe I am keeping the quality of lying in the dark and therefore I am very honest. But again, thinking about it, I have no problem of lying (and YES, I do use it, when and IF it is beneficial for others and myself) so I believe I have embraced and re integrated the quality of lying. And again that is just my opinion and from my point of view.

So what is it that I have to learn about this one because I am actually okay with both lying and honesty?
Or am I just living in denial about having integrated them fully in my life?

I have asked myself those questions over and over again, because in my honesty I sometimes hurt other people. I don’t believe any of us hurt other people intentionally and that, we actually do whatever we can NOT to hurt them and yet it still happens.

Why?
Because we see the world from our own perspective most of the times and therefore we don’t always listen to what’s being said. By that, I mean: I hear with my ears, my beliefs, my rules, my experiences e.g. and you listen with your ears and so on and so forth.

What to do then?

ASK QUESTIONS?

Sometimes we (YES, that include myself as well) get so hurt and defensive that we forget to listen to what is really being said and we forget to ask, what it means to the person that just said it.

So when you find yourself emotionally attached to some communication from others, then pause for a while and ask why they just said it, what they meant and what it means to them, instead of assuming you know what’s going on.

I once read this: ASSUME = ASS U ME, when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me 🙂 sweet one and very true, in my opinion.

So what was it, I had to learn about these few weeks of honesty reflecting back at me?

* think before you speak, not everyone want the truth?
* lie more?
* it is peoples own responsibility. how they react?
* don’t have to be responsible for the receiver, just the delivery?
* don’t assume, you know why people are reacting the way they do?
* ask why people react the way they do?

I know the answer for me is, that I want to continue being honest, I need to ask more questions myself and I certainly need to be me and NOT the way others might think would be better for them because I am proud of the way I am and I learn to be a better me everyday, sometimes that is done easily and sometimes it’s freaking hard and difficult.

“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Overrule your voice of doubt and fear

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This is a reminder of letting your greatness shine bright and clear.

This morning I sat in front of Twitter and wanted to make my own quote instead of posting someoneelses. In a tiny little second, with the speed of light, I thought: Who am I to believe I can come up with a quote that could possibly spread on FB or Twitter.
Even though I had that thought I wrote a quote on twitter (see it below) and when I posted it I was quit pleased with it and myself.

Then I wanted to post it on FB, and that tiny little voice came back to me, telling me that it was not enough just to write it on a post’it but I needed to make it a bit more fancy. I should find an amazing picture and put the words into the picture or maybe use my logo or a picture of myself like other great people do, you know all the famous people 🙂

And then again I thought, why do that, why complicate it when all you have to do is act instead of listening to the voice of doubt and fear.

I tell you this internal conversation only lasted a tiny little second but it could have lasted much longer because had I listened to the voice of doubt and fear, I would never have posted it and I could have continued my life with a belief saying: that I was not big enough, I was not famous enough or good enough.

I just didn’t allowed my voice to chose for me, so I wrote my quote on a post’it, took a snapshot of it with my ipad and posted it on FB.

Here is the quote:

“When life is a bitch
Kiss her and
fill her with love”
Christina Aros

I was pleased with my decision. I was happy I listened to my greatness and didn’t play small or safe. And it reminds me of Marianne Williamsons fabulous quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

And oh my world….what a fabulous respons.
My quote was instantly retweeted and I got comments on FB like: “amazing, this is just what I needed, It resonated with me, so had to share”
That reminded me even more that my decision about overruling my inner voice of doubt and fear and just act, was the right choice. Because both YOU and I are meant to shine in our greateness. We are meant to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous, abundante and much much more.

So let my inner voice of doubt and fear be a reminder of your own little voice telling you what you cannot do and just do it anyway.
Because YOU are powerful beyond measure so let your light shine

With love and light
Christina Aros